Collaborative law is focused entirely upon an agreed upon resolution between spouses. As a matter of fact, the collaborative law participation agreement prohibits the spouses and their attorneys from using the court system to resolve disputes.

Both parties hire their own lawyers, but the lawyers serve as "settlement collaborative only" lawyers who sit down with the parties at scheduled conferences and assist and advise to help produce an acceptable resolution. If the parties reach an impasse that cannot be resolved, the lawyers must withdraw from the proceedings. They may only transition the case to a litgaitor. The parties would proceed with new attorneys to trial.

The commitment of the attorneys to withdraw is a check against them using adversarial skills when the going gets tough. It also provides a safegard from ill-intended spouses wasting time and money. Because of this structure, the attorneys and the spouses are motivated to cooperate with one another to achieve a fair settlement.

Our legal system assumes an antagonistic adversarial position for both parties. Negotiations are competitive. The parties are opponents. The process is a "war of words." This often intensifies the negative emotions the parties may have for each other. In litigation, winning is the priority, not settlement. Settlements are reached, but often very close to trial. The parties are often disillusioned by the legal process and are exhausted emotionally and financially.

Over 90% of all divorce cases settle without going to trial. The parties routinely spend months preparing for a trial that usually doesn't happen. Advocates of collaborative law believe that the effort used in preparing for trial could better be used to achieve a reasonable settlement between the parties.

Collaborative law provides spouses with an opportunity to be heard and gives them control over what is happening to them. They are not mere spectators, but are main characters making the choices which will resolve their issues.

Resolution cannot occur until the other party agrees. That will not happen if the other party is being insulted, disrespected or otherwise treated negatively. If you need the other side's agreement to get what you want, and he or she wants the same things you want, and neither of you is allowed to go to court to get those things, then resolution can only occur through the use of efficient diplomacy and creativity.

Ruth Jackson has acquired special training in managing conflict and in the use of cooperative and non-confrontational strategies. She is currently serving as President of the Northern Kentucky Collaborative Law Group and often serves as a family law mediator.